Stress

So life has been crazy and I haven't had time to post in the last several weeks.  Our 13-year old, Emma, starred in Annie two weekends ago and she was fabulous!  After a week of late rehearsals and 3 shows over that weekend, we were both exhausted but also a little sad that it was over.

Tim managed to make it to all three shows but he also was completely exhausted by the end of the weekend.  I thought that my exhaustion last week was due to the craziness of the play and tech week, but now that it has continued into this week, I'm thinking it's more likely stress.

We have an MRI tomorrow and it has been weighing heavily on my mind for weeks now.  I had hoped after getting back from Florida that things would start to settle down once Tim was back into home routines and in his own territory.  Unfortunately things have not gotten better, they have actually gotten worse.  I guess all of my hopes I was pinning on Keppra being the cause of his behaviors have gone down the drain.  I really did think we were seeing positive changes before going away, even the kids had noticed he was doing better.

Now, however, the leg hitting is at an all time high.  He has even managed to find a way to do it while walking, awkwardly lifting his leg to hit it with his fist as he walks.  Other ritualistic behaviors have also increased to the point where he can barely sit still for any length of time anymore.

Of even more concern, the excessive talking that we were seeing before vacation has come to a point where a large amount of the time we are unable to understand what he is saying because he talks so fast.  This one worries me a lot as I have to wonder if something is invading the speech area of his brain now too.  Oh the dread of the upcoming MRI!

So, I don't know if it is all of this stress or that I'm fighting some kind of cold or virus, but I just don't have any motivation to do anything!  I can't seem to get myself to keep up with cleaning, I don't feel like cooking, and nothing is getting done around here!  I would probably happily spend the day watching tv with Tim in the family room except the leg hitting and excessive talking always end up driving me from the room.

I've found myself mostly hanging out in my bedroom.  It has become my sanctuary. It's the one room the kids don't drag their mess into, I can barely hear the leg hitting and talking from there, and the remote is mine!  I'm sometimes concerned that I've become this person who is hanging out in my bedroom all of the time but I guess I'll worry more when I start taking meals and visitors in there!  For now, I hope that this is just about getting the rest I must need right now while trying to escape from the stresses that are all around me.

I guess that's all for now.  I will update after we get the results from the MRI.  Wish I was feeling better about it!